Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
