Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
