Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
