Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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