East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
it's great music for shaving your balls
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
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