We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
