why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
