Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
