belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
