If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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