Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
