Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
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