that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize