I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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