Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
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