well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I just had sex on a roof
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
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