have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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