My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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