My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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