If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
