weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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