Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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