I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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