threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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