Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize