Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I have feelings that need drinking.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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