Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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