Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
