It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
wow bdsm is so cute
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
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