My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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