talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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