I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
