Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Randomize
