when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
