when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
