DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
you never un-have a 4some
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
