My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
wrigley field is MILF paradise
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
