Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
