Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
