why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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