they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
