I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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