Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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