In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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