no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
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Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
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If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
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