Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
