I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
