we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
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