it was like eating out sand paper
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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