Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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