he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Randomize
