so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
