I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Randomize
