just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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