she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
