we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
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Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize