after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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