I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
