Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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