He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
