Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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