Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(301): View more from Maryland

White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.

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(708): View more from Illinois

We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.

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(503): View more from Oregon

I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside

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(862): View more from New Jersey

he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"

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(410): View more from Maryland

I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home

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(732): View more from New Jersey

i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else

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(315): View more from New York

she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.

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