i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
