Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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