i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
