I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
